Dear Lil Nas X, Your Visibility Is Vital to Me as a Trans Teen
Throughout the month of June, we will be unpacking the intersection of Black identity and popular music. Music as a cultural connector is a direct result of the global impact of the Black experience expressed through sound. In this letter to Lil Nas X, 14-year-old writer Eve M. May reflects on Lil Nas X’s impact on her own life as a trans teenager. Read more pieces like this one here.
Dear 23-Year-Old Montero,
If there’s the slightest chance you might read this, I want you to know that the courage it takes to be honest with your true self is something I know, too. Coming out is hard for all of us, but it’s even harder when you have to do it from the standpoint of being a hero for other people. As Lil Nas X, you had to really think about not only how it would affect you and how others treat you emotionally, but also how it could impact your career and financial stability, but you still had all of the courage to be a groundbreaker. And for that, I applaud and thank you. But your visibility is vital to me, a trans teenager in 2022.
When I was 6, I lived outside of the U.S. in a country which, at the time, was not supportive of LGBT rights. I feel like being able to have had a role model like you would have made things so much easier for me. I think about all the times I wish I had somebody to relate to when I thought I was confused for wanting to wear tutus or barrettes. I remember wanting to take a purse to school when I was five. When my mom told me I’d be bullied by the other kids if I brought it, I told her, “It’s my purse, why do other people care?” (And before some Twitter troll says, “NO KID WOULD SAY THAT,” it’s just a guess of what I did say, since I don’t exactly remember what I said, you know, a whole freaking decade ago). But fashion has always been super important for me, and I can say the same for a lot of people across the LGBTQ+ community — including you, who have made your style your own even when people criticize you for it.
The most important piece of fashion that helped me express myself was a communion style dress my parents got me from Goodwill. It was the first day of being me, and I remember taking photos inspired by my favorite actress, Audrey Hepburn. Even though that moment was years ago for me, it makes me so happy that kids now are having those moments and wearing colorful and eclectic clothes modeled after you! All I’ll say is, you gave permission for people to wear what they want to wear.
One time, I had an online friend ask me the question: “What would happen if everyone went into the closet?” In my opinion, if everybody went into the closet, it’d be horrible. I mean, imagine if you were never able to come out, the way you wrote about in your letter to your 14-year-old self, where you said you once planned to keep the secret forever.
