For Girls

Getting Dumped – How to Retain Your Dignity After Being Dumped

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Unbelievable as it seems he has actually dumped you. The gall of the man! It’s bad enough that the relationship ended but the fact that he ended it first just gets your blood boiling. You wish you had dumped him before he dumped you but he beat you to it. So now you must move on with your life with grace and dignity. But how do you retain your dignity after being dumped?

Don’t grovel and plead for a second chance! Even if you want him back pleading and crying does not usually work in the long run. You may be tempted to promise drastic reforms in your character and attitude if he takes you back but this will only make his scorn for you increase. To retain your dignity you need to stop, take a deep breath and hold your peace. Understand why he dumped you so that you can make a concrete plan on how to move on from here.

Give up your desire to make him understand you. He may have made unjust accusations or said unkind things when he broke up with you and you would like a chance to explain yourself to him. But the truth is that whatever you say now will be received with mistrust since he has already made up his mind about you. Anything that you say now will be received with suspicion and will not do anything positive for you so leave things as they are. Changing his mind about you at this stage is an act of undignified futility.

Don’t wear sackcloth and walk around with a long mournful face. You may feel like you want the whole world to see your sorrow so that ‘they’ can sympathize with you but this will just make you an object of ridicule and place a spotlight on your battered self esteem. Cry and rage if you need to but do it in private as you need to retain your dignity by not having an unsympathetic audience to your sorrow.

Get the right perspective.To retain your dignity you must realize that there is more to life than your ex. He was important to you but he was not the sum of your life and your life is so much bigger than him. At this moment you may truly believe that your life just cannot get better but the truth is that if you just keep breathing the hurt will one day be gone.

Avoid the insults and negativity. You will be tempted to hurt him with words to somehow lessen your hurt or to just get your revenge while you can but do NOT given in to this temptation. Difficult as this may be don’t repay evil for evil but be courteous to him when you accidentally bump into him. You will come through to him as a graceful woman of dignity and you will feel a sense of self respect.

Don’t let your heart become bitter. To make sense of the fact that he dumped you, you may be tempted to lump ALL men in one negative category but this will just keep you unduly focused on him and what he did to you. If one man makes you decide that ALL men exhibit a certain negative trait then he will have a hold on you for the rest of your life. He will affect all your future relationships so that you give less than you should to all of your relationships. He thus changes you invariably and you become a shadow of yourself and thus less dignified.

Know that there is nothing wrong with you. To retain your dignity or self esteem you must realize that there is nothing wrong with you. Yes, he dumped you and you may have made some mistakes in the relationship since you are an imperfect human being just like every other human being but this breakup does NOT define who you are. You and he did not work out but this does not mean that you and someone else will not work out in the future.

To retain your dignity after being dumped you must ensure that you do not lose yourself or your essence in the negativity and fallout that comes from being dumped. You are a great woman, worthy to be loved by a man who loves and respects you so don’t lose that worthwhile and real perspective of yourself.

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