How to Downplay Your Affair – Getting Your Ex Back After You Cheated
Unfaithfulness almost always leads to break up, and in almost every case one person will be begging their loved one to take them back. If you’re that person, and you’re trying to get your ex back after you cheated, you’ll need to know what works… and what doesn’t. Getting your ex to love you, miss you, and finally trust you again should be your goal – but you should also know that such a reconciliation won’t be an overnight process. Winning back your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend will take some time.
Yet one mistake most cheaters make is a big one: disclosing too much information after they’ve been caught cheating. Doing this can absolutely ruin your chances of getting back together again.
That’s not to say you should deny the affair or try to defer blame. Accepting responsibility for what you did is an important part of the healing process, and one you can’t skip over if you ever want to date your ex again. You cheated – and you should be very sorry for it. By now you should’ve apologized to your boyfriend or girlfriend for what you did, and promised never to be unfaithful again. Even if your partner has already broken up with you, a strong part of them still wants to hear you say that you’ll be faithful from this point forward.
Downplaying your affair however, is much different than deferring blame. While you need to accept what you did, you don’t need to divulge everything that happened. And in fact, you shouldn’t… because it will make the picture of the affair that much more etched in your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend’s mind.
Your ex knows you cheated, and probably knows who you were with. What they don’t need to know is where you had sex with this person… what kind of things you did… and how often you did them. After you’ve been caught cheating, an ex will often suddenly want to “know everything” about the affair. They’ll interrogate you as to who, what, where, when, and why. They’ll want to know places, times, even positions… they’ll unwantingly begin drawing a picture in their own minds about what happened with you and this other person. And even worse? Because you’re trying to appease them and make them happy (in your attempt to get your ex back), you’ll actually begin answering those questions.
Bad move.
Anything and everything you tell your ex girlfriend or boyfriend about your affair will be forever burned into their brain. Even if you get back together again, years later they’ll have images of those painful things you did. Instead of giving them this picture, you need to downplay the whole thing. Tell them you hardly saw this person, and that when you did, it wasn’t all that great. Gloss over details, and forget other ones. You’re owning up to being unfaithful, but you’re lessening the whole affair in your ex’s mind.
Are you lying? Yes. But it’s an innocent lie, and you’re also helping your ex get past the cheating while helping the situation between the two of you. Do your ex this favor, because it’ll help them heal a lot faster than if you painted a vivid picture of everything and anything you might’ve done.
Getting your ex back after you cheated is easily accomplished, as long as you have a step by step plan. Knowing the right moves to make and the right times to make them can put you back together again. There are methods you can use to rebuild your partner’s trust, and techniques that will get them to forget – for the most part – about you cheating on them. And by downplaying the whole affair, you’re making your job that much easier.