Nicknames For Babies and/or Sloths – A Top Ten List
1. Molasses — Perfect for a sloth because of its slow and lethargic movements. Also perfect for an obese baby or for a baby that is borderline stupid.
2. Champ — A good overall nickname that applies to both girls and boys. You might have heard somebody say to their son or daughter, “Way to go champ” or “That’s my champ!” This nickname applies to sloths as well. I was once at the zoo in the sloth section and overheard an old woman saying, “That’s one slow-ass champ.”
3. Lil Man — This one is for babies of the male variety. Lil is short for little. It would apply for a sloth if it had a creepy resemblance to a leprechaun.
4. Mrs. Cuddles — this is a good nickname for a female sloth that likes to hug everyone and everything in an awkward and scary manner.
5. Poopy Pants or Poppy Pants– This nickname applies to babies that defecate chronically and loudly and to sloths that make a living smuggling heroin stuffed down their pants.
6. Princess– For little female babies that look cute and especially for ones in pretty pink outfits. This nickname is suitable for the kind of female sloth that loath moving around and prefer for other dumber sloths to bring them food and drink. It also applies for male sloths with a preference for other males that workout and have 6-packs.
7. Pookie — A great overall nickname for babies. It hints at a baby with a quirky personality and one that is always poking its nose in everything and all-around getting into trouble. Furthermore, this nickname would be suitable for sloths that are always pushing their sleeping, unsuspecting friends off of their branches and to a certain death 20 meters below.
8. Homeboy – This is for sloths that are on the dangerous side. A sloth with this nickname wouldn’t hesitate to spit in your face as a prize for wondering into his territory.
9. Turtle — Perfect for a sloth with a weird shell-like growth on his back or for an ugly reptile-like baby.
10. Cutie — Suitable for a baby that just did something cute or out of the ordinary. On the other hand this nickname is good for a male sloth that likes to impress the ladies by running for two-tenths of a second before passing out from exhaustion.