How to Get Over a Crush: 17 Helpful Tips for Moving On
“Constantly checking an ex or crush’s social media keeps a relationship alive, and people often do this when they are not ready to face the end of that relationship,” Mendle explains. “It’s normal to want to stay connected to someone who means a lot to you, but it can also keep you in a state of grief, loss, or sadness. It takes a lot of strength and discipline, but most people find that they eventually feel better once they acknowledge that a relationship is over or that a desired relationship may not get off the ground.”
6. Delete or Mute Them
If you want to lose feelings for someone quicker, Henry suggests taking your social media hiatus to the next level by cutting off all contact with the object of their affection. “You will only prolong your healing process by feeding your hope through interpreting interactions to be more than they truly are. This means unfollowing on social media, letting friends know you don’t want to hear anything about or discuss this person, and it may even mean blocking their phone number.”
7. Know Your Worth
When we’re getting over a crush, one thing our friends always remind us is, “It’s THEIR loss.” Which is true! This person is not the only person in the world. YOU, however, are the only you. Do something that will remind you of this — whatever you excel at that makes you feel amazing and empowered when you do it. If your next crush is truly worthy of you, they’ll be attracted to all of your talents and encourage you to be the best you can be.
8. Learn Whatever You Can
Hindsight is always 20/20. Now that you’re back to feeling like yourself, think about what qualities your old crush had that you’d like to find in a new one. Did they have a great sense of humor? A killer smile? Did you like the same music? What did you not like about this person? You most certainly don’t need to dive right into a new romantic situation, but it’s helpful to figure out what you’re into — and what you’re not — for the next time you find yourself having feelings.
9. Seek Clarity From Your Crush
Closure can do wonders for people in relationships, situationships, and almost-ships. It can be incredibly difficult, but seeking clarity can help you stop crushing on someone quicker. Whether it’s through a private DM or an in-person conversation, it’s important to make sure to validate and respect your crush’s decision during this conversation. But, before you reach out, make sure to check in on yourself and see what would bring you closure. Is it knowing why they rejected you? Is it something you could do better in future relationships? Come up with a clear way to communicate your needs before opening the floor for a direct conversation.
10. Get It All Out in Your Journal
Journaling has been proven to reduce stress, clear your mind, and help you move on from negative thoughts. How? Well, first, it allows you to take a moment and focus solely on yourself, and be present in the moment. With this focus comes clarity, and you’re able to get some respite from your emotions and thoughts. Even the act of journaling itself is healing — if you want, you can throw out the paper after you write down all your feelings (we get it: sometimes you don’t want to keep a record of your innermost thoughts).
11. Meet New People
When you feel ready, consider meeting and hanging out with new people. There’s no pressure to start dating, of course, but even putting yourself out there and being open to new possibilities can do wonders for healing your heart and giving you hope that you will be able to develop feelings for someone else (even if it might not seem like it right now). You can try apps like Bumble BFF to connect with people on a platonic level or even join a local club or volunteer group to meet new, like-minded people in your community.
12. Stay Busy
Sometimes all you need to do is distract yourself. If you’re tempted to DM your crush or feel overwhelmed by sadness, bury yourself in a good novel, scroll on TikTok, or even set the vibe with an upbeat playlist to completely change your mood. The busier you are—with work, friends, or school—the less time you have to get in your feels. But, don’t discount your feelings, you can still be sad while out mini-golfing with your BFFs. Sometimes it’s better to be sad with your close friends than alone in your room with nothing but Netflix to keep you company.
13. Know That This Is Temporary and You’re Not Alone
No matter how much your heart is hurting, know that the feelings won’t last forever. You will move on from a crush. “Feelings — even very negative ones — are actually temporary. There will always be times when you want something intensely and it just doesn’t work out. It’s normal to take a while to rebound from that. But learning that feelings can and do pass — even when it seems like you’ll feel sad forever — is something you can remember the next time you feel down,” says Mendle.
14. Put the Relationship Into Perspective
Henry explains that putting the situation into perspective can not only help you learn from past mistakes, but also help you to better understand your feelings as a whole. “Even though your feelings may have been deep and meaningful, honestly ask yourself if the situation was as significant or real as you may have thought it to be. Did you get carried away? Did this other person mislead you? What, if anything, are you truly losing by letting this go?”
15. Treat Yourself
Being busy with all the things you like doing is a great way to not even have time to dwell on a lost almost-love. Treat yourself to a day at the spa or an impromptu shopping spree. Keeping your mind distracted with things you like to do—and giving yourself room to treat yourself with kindness—will put you in a better headspace for your next relationship. And it’ll remind you exactly who you are and what you want from your next crush.
