FKA twigs Speaks to Gayle King About Domestic Violence

In her first televised interview since filing a lawsuit against Shia LaBeouf, FKA twigs shed light on one of the worst questions to ask a survivor of domestic violence: “Why didn’t you leave?”

As reported by USA Today, FKA twigs sat down with Gayle King on Thursday, February 18 to discuss the allegations brought against LaBeouf in the lawsuit, which included sexual battery, assault and infliction of emotional distress. When King asked twigs why she didn’t leave the relationship, noting that she wonders if the question is “appropriate” to ask, the singer offered an explanation as to why it’s not, and moreover, why it shouldn’t be asked at all.

“I think we have to stop asking that question,” twigs emphasized. “The question should really be to the abuser: ‘Why are you holding someone hostage with abuse?’ People say it can’t have been that bad, because else you would’ve left. But it’s like, no, it’s because it was that bad, I couldn’t leave.”

The question of “why didn’t you leave?” is a harmful one, because it places responsibility on the victim, rather than the person who caused the abuse. There are also a plethora of common reasons why people stay in abusive partnerships, including both fear-based and societal barriers preventing someone from leaving, and none of those reasons should excuse the abusive behavior — or put blame on the victim. Domestic violence is a pervasive issue; according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCAD), 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience “severe intimate partner violence,” and there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to nationwide domestic abuse hotlines per day. This is why it’s incredibly important that we shift the narrative surrounding abuse, and, as twigs pointed out, stop asking victims why they didn’t leave.

FKA twigs initially filed her lawsuit against LaBeouf in December 2020, alleging that the actor “hurts women. He uses them. He abuses them, both physically and mentally. He is dangerous.” Other women, including singer-songwriter Sia, have also brought allegations against the actor.

In a statement to the New York Times, LaBeouf wrote that “many of these allegations are not true,” adding: “I’m not in any position to tell anyone how my behavior made them feel. I have no excuses for my alcoholism or aggression, only rationalizations. I have been abusive to myself and everyone around me for years. I have a history of hurting the people closest to me. I’m ashamed of that history and am sorry to those I hurt. There is nothing else I can really say.”

Speaking with Elle, twigs opened up further, telling the outlet, “It’s a miracle I came out alive.” During the interview, she recounted details of the alleged abuse, explaining that she wanted to use her platform to bring awareness in order to help others who might be going through something similar. “It’s hard to do this publicly…but I want people to know my story,” she said. “If I can’t help people through my experience, it makes my experience 10 times worse. There has to be a point to this—a reason why this happened to me. It’s not just about my [personal] recovery.”

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Related: FKA twigs Said She Experienced “Deeply Horrific” Racism From Robert Pattinson Fans